5 tips for well-meaning white allies

first of all, i speak entirely for myself here. i now have the blessing and privilege of being able to wear my heart on my sleeve, and speak with LOVING truth to everybody. i don't plan to waste the opportunity. i consider myself so fortunate to intimately know and journey through life with some of the kindest, most empathetic, generous and wise people of all races and ethnic backgrounds. because of the life I've been blessed to live so far, and the places where i've been forced to grow and learn, so many of those people are my dear white brothers and sisters.

you are GOOD people. i've witnessed the tenderness of your hearts, the way you treat people when you think nobody is watching, and what you're willing to sacrifice to make our world a more just and peaceful place for us all. but, true progress will require more than genuine positive intent and earnestness. it will require the telling (in LOVE) of difficult and painful truths. on the other side of that pain is GROWTH, for us all.

i don't claim to know all of the answers, but I know some. I'm working through my own SHIT, too. I'm just human, like you. but, my lived experience is REAL, and it's not uncommon for my BLACK sisters and brothers who go through the same things each day in the workplace and in life. racism and neglect (conscious and otherwise) hurts us deeply, and it makes us bitter and suspicious. it's so hard to LOVE through that lens. we want things to be better. nobody wants to suffer in silence, and no fair person with a heart really wants to cause ongoing suffering for any other person. that's why in FAITH, I'm offering these 5 simple tips to help you to begin to awaken your consciousness to some things that might not cross your mind on a daily basis, the way it does mine.

if you pay attention to these things, and practice a system for engineering and incorporating solutions into your daily behavior, i promise, you will open yourself up to the opportunity to re-discover your black friends and family in a way that will enrich and brighten your life. we live in a world of abundance. let's not close ourselves off from the potential joy of true understanding, genuine community, and EQUITABLE togetherness.

here it goes...

1. stop talking over us. we've had to swim upstream to even be in the room. if you give us a chance to talk, write, be at the table meaningfully, we will add value in ways that will blow your mind. let us start and finish sentences.

2. justice and charity are not the same thing. be justice-minded when you think about how to right wrongs involving the historic oppression of BLACK people.

3. listen more than you speak around us. we have been listening in white spaces for a long time, by force. we have gained profound understanding through this - of you, and ourselves. when you listen to us, you will gain deeper understanding of yourself and US.

4. be your imperfect, authentic self around us. we LOVE and HONOR this. i know it's hard because you're carrying some of the weight of what sits between us on your shoulders. do it anyway, in faith. authenticity breeds trust, and trust creates space for truth-telling. only from TRUTH can we grow together. we want to LOVE the real you, so that you can love the real US.

5. practice elevating our voices when you notice we're the only ones. so often are we the only BLACK faces and voices. it's REALLY hard. please give us a hand in these situations. it's a herculean task to fight through the misconceptions, stereotypes and faulty assumptions about us. we do it anyway, EVERYDAY. when you offer a helping hand, and remove barriers for us, we notice. it's appreciated. the cool thing is, it will also inure to your benefit. we have some REALLY good ideas that get ignored often, until it's too late. don't miss out on that latent value, and opportunity for meaningful allyship.

Term of the day: Super-Voting Rights. Learn about these, black founders. They are key. Take them.

Song of the day: Deep Reverance by Big Sean (ft. Nipsey Hussle). RIP Nipsey. I know the lyrics to this song by heart, and i mean every word - for real.

also, here's my schedule for today:

-Product Design Meeting w/ Product/Engineering Teams

-Advisory Board "Office Hours"

-VC Meeting

-JP Morgan Meeting

-Ikoyi Capital Deal Flow Meeting

-ShareThing Interview

-ShareThing Founders' Meeting